Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
