We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
