wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
