He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
