I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
