Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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