just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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