I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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