I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
