yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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