The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
