u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
