Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
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Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
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You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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