it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
