how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
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He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
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I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize