I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
