for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
