Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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