Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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