my vag is so smooth its legendary
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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