just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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