if you like me you must not know who I am
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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