I seem to have left my pride at pride
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
