He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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