My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
