Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
