he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize