haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
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it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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