I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize