I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
