i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
