I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you have feelings for this penis?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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