No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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