Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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