Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
how does that bad decision feel?
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