just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
