your thong is hanging out like whoa
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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