I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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