so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Randomize
