Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
