i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
