just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
