That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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