I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
