you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
