we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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