arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
