i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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