hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just googled if crying burns calories
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
