I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
