I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
