I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
This is not my ceiling
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
