I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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