Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize